Rough Days

Well, the past two days have been a little rough.  Yesterday was bad... today, better, but not up to par.  Yesterday morning I woke up with a really bad headache, which turned into a nasty migraine.  This is the first headache I've had since surgery, which is surprising.  I usually get migraines 2-3 times a week, so needless to say, I was wondering when it was going to strike.  But then I started wondering, what's causing this?  I have been sleeping more and eating what I should.  Maybe I was dehydrated?  I chalked it up to that and tried to start my normal "eating" (drinking) schedule.  I pulled out a protein shake and immediately gagged.  I tried a couple of other concoctions (creamy soups with unflavored protein, protein drinks, freezing protein drinks, and... yes... broth).  Gag attack.  Every single thing made me really nauseous.

So I called the doctor's office.  Of course, it was early, so I got the answering service.  I couldn't get through the phone call without breaking down.  I was emotional.  I was completely deflated.  I am not getting the protein that is required for this diet.  I cannot stomach the protein shakes and I cannot eat anything at all.  How is this going to work?  So after pretty much laying around in my nausea all day, I called the doc's office back because I had not heard back.  Finally, I get a call back from the nurse.  She asks a lot of questions and then basically tells me to suck it up and drink what I can.  She also tells me that I have to think of this as recovering from the flu... I have to replenish my nutrients and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.  Easy for you to say... you can keep things down.  I can't.  So I take some nausea medicine that I have had for a while and relax.  Finally, around 11:00 last night, I was able to drink some soup.  Yay for small victories!!

Today, I woke up feeling much better (which is relative) than I did yesterday.  My stomach muscles were super sore today, probably from dehydration.  I took it easy this morning and didn't rush to drink anything of substance.  I had water and vitamin water... but nothing soupy just yet.  Finally, around 11:30 or so, I was able to get some more soup down.  Thank goodness!  So I tried some different soup at lunch (the same stuff gets old after a while).  That worked out well and I was able to add some unflavored protein to the soup.  I got a whiff of it and gagged a little, but it stayed down, so I can't complain.

Something I didn't know... when I was talking to the nurse yesterday, she mentioned I should be refraining from drinking anything liquid prior to or after the protein substance (meal).  What?  Huh??  I'm sorry, I was not aware of that.  The paperwork the nutritionist gave me was specific to drink every 15 minutes... Substance, then 15 mins later, liquid, then 15 mins later, liquid, then 15 mins later, liquid. we should have 4 oz per hour!  Say what??

Ok, regroup.  This is going to make it a tad more interesting... because that's where the dehydration is going to come in.  But I do what they tell me.  So I'm trying to be more careful of that today.

I think the hardest part of yesterday was the sheer need to CHEW something.  I just wanted to CHEW... weird?  Apparently not. It's one of the things I've seen most in the post-op issues online.  I really really really really really just wanted to chew something... seems trivial?  Not to this girl. I have had nothing but LIQUID since Christmas Eve.  And I have 3 weeks to go.  THREE.  Yes, I knew this going in.  But gosh it's hard.  I watch people on TV eat cereal.  I want cereal.  I watch these stupid Jimmy Deans commercials... the girl slowly biting down on the English muffin with sausage, egg, cheese... the sounds from her mouth while she CHEWS... really???  And if I see another Olive Garden commercial showing all the varieties of All You Can Eat Pasta, I'm going to rip my TV out of the wall.

So back to pretty flowers and butterflies... today, I'm chewing gum.  Yep, that's right.  If I can't have food, I'm going to chew gum like it's going out of style.  I laugh in the face of these demons trying to bring me down.  I smack in their face!!!

Anyway, it's been a tough couple of days.  It's going to get better, I know, but it's tough.  I have heard all the pep talks.  I've given myself the pep talks.  Doesn't change the way I feel right now, but it does give me hope and something to look forward to.

And, I'm sure everyone is wondering... I have lost weight.  I am not going to give numbers right now until I go to the doctor next week and stand on those same scales that gave me the previous numbers, but I'm going to say I hit my very first goal, which is big, HUGE deal for me. :)

So chew on that!
Kell