A New Day

Woke up feeling much better this morning.  I slept well last night (thanks to the muscle relaxant...) and have started back at the craft table again.  There may be some handmade gifts yet!!

Crafting, painting, melting, gluing... they are all so therapeutic for me... I can't imagine not being able to do it.  Seriously thinking of getting myself a project table for the guest room/office/craft room.  Problem is, I loving being downstairs with all the natural light and space.  Today, I'm watching Christmas movies as I craft.  It's nice to be around my Christmas tree and decorations.  Every now and then, my craft area spills over into the kitchen or the living area... but that's life with a craftista!

So this post is short, but definitely worth posting!!

Here are some items I have made recently:

Clear Spoonflower Brooch (with burned effect)

Spoonflower Brooches

Teal and Navy Spoonflower Brooch

Hand painted scarf for my Wheela's Birthday :)

Wheela & her man on Thanksgiving, sporting the scarf

Dr. Seuss painting for my friend's baby shower gift

Hand made elephant lanterns made for my friend's baby shower

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year... Kinda...

I love Christmas.  I do.  I love the smells, sights and joy of Christmas.  It's my favorite holiday.  But there are things I don't like about Christmas.  The shopping... I really really hate shopping.  I'm not sure what happened, but my sister got the shopping gene... not me.  I even get quite irritated with online shopping.  Really really irritated.  

Tonight, for instance.  I have been looking for a bathrobe for one little fella in my life... he wants a blue bathrobe to wear around the house like Greg Brady does on the Brady Bunch.  Do you know how many blue bathrobes I have found?  4.  That's right... FOUR.  Do you know how many are in N's size?  ZERO.  Zilch.  Nada.  Come on??!!!  What the hay bales happened to ALL of the bathrobes?  They can't ALL be out of stock??!!  I finally ordered a navy one from Amazon.  It will do.  I am not happy about it.  

Another thing I don't like about Christmas... unrealistic expectations.  Now, you are probably thinking "you don't have to do what other folks ask you to do..."  That's not what I mean.  I mean the unrealistic expectations I set for myself.  I have about 10 canvases sitting behind me at the "craft table" (dining room table converted into a craft table) and they are white and begging to be painted.  So what do I do?  Yank a muscle in my neck.  Yep.  No painting for me.  No homemade gifts for my peeps.  If you get one, you got lucky and I did it before I gave up.  

And the last thing I don't like about Christmas... the loneliness.  Coming home alone.  Not having that person to vent to about my crappy day at work.  Not having anyone to snuggle with or massage my neck since it hurts so bad.  I know... everyone says it's not all it's cracked up to be, but when you are single and alone... it's better than this.  

All this to say, I can't wait to have this surgery so I can focus on me.  Me, myself and I.  I need some time to focus on Kelley.  Time to focus on the new Kelley and the new lifestyle I will be living soon.  

I am excited about Christmas... just not the busy-ness of Christmas.  I think I'm going to finish my shopping online and just relax and enjoy the rest of the month.  Forget the handmade stuff.  I'm done!

Today's surgery update:
"I got shot in the buttocks" ... with 50,000 IU of B12.  Forrest would be proud...  I honestly can't feel anything back there anyway, so it was fine :)  I also got a call from the Case Manager who has been working on gathering everything to send to the insurance company... apparently she hasn't received all of my records.  So I had to call around today... I got in touch with one of them, but not the other.  She sent me an email and said that I am at risk of not getting it scheduled in December if we can't get the information we need... so I'm a little stressed about that. I hope to get in touch with the other on Monday... even if I have to drive to Rocky Mount to take care of it!

For the rest of you who are stressing like I am... a dear friend told me tonight "take a deep breath and remember someone else has it a lot worse than you."  She is so right.  There is always someone out there that can use our help and prayers, year round, but even more at this time of year.  Pay it forward!  Perform your random acts of kindness!  

I'll be sitting here enjoying my Christmas decorations and wrapping presents as they arrive via that nice brown truck with that nicely dressed fella in that nice little brown uniform.  :)  What??  A girl can dream!!

Here's a pic of my sweet girl with her new Christmas bandanna.

Merry Christmas!
Kell

Nutritionists & Psych Evaluations = Fun

Well, fun in some aspects... at least I try to make things fun. :)

I met my nutritionist, who is in the same office as Dr. Bruce.  He asked me lots of questions and then explained what I'll be able to eat after surgery.  He showed me the little plastic pieces of food - 1-2 ounces.  1-2 ounces??  Yep... 1-2 ounces.  Start with protein and go from there.  Of course, the first 4 weeks are liquid diet only.  Protein shakes, broth, jello, decaf tea/coffee... boring and bland... but I'm OK with that.

Dr. Bruce has studied with his patients what he calls the "Bruce Metabolic Scale".  He asks each patient before surgery, "What is your hunger level each day on a scale of 1-10?  What is your carb cravings each day on a scale of 1-10?"  The sum of the two is the Bruce Metabolic Scale (BMS).  Mine is a 17.  When I wake up from surgery... it will be a 1 or 2.  That's right... no hunger... no carb cravings.  I basically have to force myself to drink and eat after surgery to ensure I get enough nutrients!!  Oh Glorious day when I no longer crave carbs!

I have a long list of protein shakes and vitamins to try out to find the combination that works best for me.  I bought some protein from Whole Foods, but unfortunately have to return it.  It is absent of whey & soy, which I need for my nutritional plan.  I also bought green super food powder... not quite sure about that one... it's green.  Deep, dark green.  Something about that is just not right.  Especially when mixed with apple juice... dark dark green... <shudder>.

I have been taking the Digest pill that Dr. Bruce told me to get.  It seems to work great (when I remember to take it).  Folic acid seems to be giving me a tad bit more energy... and I am almost excited about the B12 shot tomorrow.  I hear that helps with energy as well.  

This week has been really tough, mentally and physically.  I seem to have a more motivation - I cut out soft drinks Thanksgiving weekend.  Haven't had one since.  I've started to mix 1/2 decaf in my coffee.  I'm doing 1/2 sweet, 1/2 unsweet tea.  Just need to switch to decaf soon.  I've been having a lot of pain in my neck/head area.  I haven't been resting well at night and can't seem to get into my groove this week.  

Back to the program... I also went for a psych evaluation.  I had to meet with a psychologist for a few minutes, give her a quick history of weight issues and emotional issues caused by being overweight, then had to complete a couple of tests.  The first was made up of statements that required answers like "Always, Often, Sometimes, Rarely, Never".  The questions were tricky and sometimes entertaining...

I like the size of my buttocks. 

I think my thighs are too large.

I think my thighs are normal size.

I think my thighs are small enough.

The other test was comprised of true/false statements...

I have flown across the Atlantic more than 30 times this year.

I have been on the covers of several magazines recently.

I am responding honestly about the state of my health in these responses.

Really??  What does magazine covers, flying over the Atlantic and trick questions about my thighs have to do with my psychological makeup and whether I'm able to have surgery?  I guess I get the questions about my thighs, but how many different ways do you have to ask it??  I started to second-guess myself and how I responded to those... tricky, tricky shrinks... I hope I outsmarted them :)

So tomorrow, I get my B12 shot.  This weekend, I will be busy working on handmade Christmas gifts and finishing up shopping.  Next week I will have a Sleep Study... will keep you all posted on that.  Work is going to be crazy over the next week or so and I may not have much time to post.  

Thanks everyone for your kind words of support!  It means everything to me!
Kell

Constantly Changing

I am still working through kinks with the blog.  There are design issues and this is my first ever blog design, so I hope to get it finished up this weekend.  My eyes are burning from staring at my laptop all night and I decided to just post as-is.  :)  

Hope you enjoy reading the beginning of my story... I will continue to post over the next few weeks and let everyone know when the surgery will actually take place!!

Thanks for stopping by!
Kell

And So the Journey Begins...

Well, the demands of pre-op are interesting to say the least.  In order to be approved by insurance for this surgery, you have to have the following:

• Endoscopy

• Sleep Study

• Lab Work

• Psychological Exam

• CT Scans

• Ultra Sound

• Nutritional Consultation

The doctor prescribed a PPI (proton pump inhibitor) to "heal" the EE and that hasn't worked out that well.  I still get severe pain after eating certain foods and have been chewing on Tums like candy (I found out those aren't good for you either because they coat the stomach and the stomach has to produce more acid to clear up the coating and that's the last thing you need is more acid... Thanks, Dr. Oz!).


I began crossing off the other items on the list.  I had the lab work after my first consultation with Dr. Bruce.  I also had to do an H. Pylori test.  I then began requesting records from my previous doctors.  I had a sleep study done years ago, but they said they wanted to make sure I didn't need a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure), but unfortunately I do.  I have to have that before surgery because they want you to use it in the hospital.  So I am currently scheduled for a CPAP titration (fitting for the mask).
Also, back when I had my endoscopy done, I was supposed to have a colonoscopy done as well.  I didn't have it done at the same time and have been having some problems.  Add to that the family history of cancer and I am required to get that prior to surgery as well.


So, I have been to the doctor since because there was some concern about my gallbladder.  They've decided not to take it out, but there are other issues at hand.

The story around this is quite amusing... I was sitting in the exam room and Dr. Bruce is flipping through my chart.  He kept making noises as he was looking over my levels.  He ran out at one point and said to the nurse that they needed to run a Cilliac test on me... then came back and found where they had already done that in the chart.  So needless to say my curiosity was heightened.  As the appointment progressed, he realized I have a "gut issue"... digestion/assimilation issue.  That my body doesn't know how to break down the proteins and nutrients like it should.  He started asking questions about how I digest carbs, gluten, dairy, grease, etc.  I told him most of it comes back up because I can't keep anything down these days... he was very intrigued.  

He told me I needed to start taking a pill ("go to Whole Foods, Aisle 3, blue bottle with yellow text, DIGEST") before each meal/snack. He also asked if he could share my information with a doctor's forum to get more advice. 
After this revelation, he opens the door and says "We're going to change your life girl..." "I hope so..." "I KNOW so!"  So he goes into the hallway, leaves the door open... I guess he thinks I've gone to the front counter to check out.  I think he's actually coming back (he had mentioned the B12 shot and I thought they were coming back to do that).  So I hear him grab Sarah (the PA) and another person... he starts talking in a really excited voice,  

So this could explain the years upon years of pain, sickness and thinking I was crazy because they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. The more answers come my way, the more I am sure this is the right thing for me to do.
Thankfully, when I started this process, I had already had several of those (the ones that are struck through).  I had issues earlier this year with my stomach and constant nausea and severe heartburn/acid reflux.  I was diagnosed with Eosiniphillic Esophagitis in August.  They checked my gallbladder, my liver, my bile duct, etc. and it finally came down to the esophagus.  EE is a disease caused by an allergy, either airborne or ingested.  The doctor at the time told me that it was likely caused by acid reflux, but I have since found that is not the case.  Dr. Bruce truly believes I have food allergies.  I often find myself itching after eating and also have found some cases where my throat begins to tighten (recently when I had bean sprouts).

"What are we here for today?"

"Sarah said I needed my gallbladder removed."

 "Not that I'm aware of... and they ran the test earlier this summer and said it was functioning normally..."

"Are you having problems with your gallbladder?"

"Then why are we taking your gallbladder out?"

"I dunno, that's why I'm here..."

He continued to review my chart and found that I am extremely malnourished. Now, I had to wonder.. "Isn't that sort of an oxymoron?? Fluffy chick loves bread, cheese and chocolate...malnourished?? I'm not starving..." But my B12, Vitamin D, and Folic Acid are significantly lower than they should be, so I have started on the supplements for those. The biggest issue is that my protein levels are EXTREMELY low.

"This girl comes in for bypass... she's got issues with her gut.  Sarah, good call on the gallbadder, but it's fine.  She's got digestion and assimilation issues.  I've never seen anything quite like this.  Her protein level is a 16!!!  SIXTEEN!!!!!!  That's Holy SH*T low!  That's what you see on patients in hospice!!!  I am SO INTRIGUED by this case!!" 

In my head, I'm sitting in the room screaming "Come back!!! Come back!!!" (which sounds quite similar to Rose calling for Jack as his frozen body sinks into the deep dark ocean in Titanic)

Dr. Bruce walks back by the door and says "What are you still doing here?  Come on!"  So I go to the desk, Sarah meets me at the desk and she is thrilled that I came in and asked questions.  Which leaves me to wonder... If I hadn't asked questions, would I be laying on an OR table getting my gallbladder removed??

Kell