Four Months

Well, I am horrible at blogging... we've established that.

I felt things were getting a tad boring, so I just haven't updated in a while.  :)

However, I have folks asking me why I haven't updated my blog, so here goes... I think?

One of the most frequently asked questions (besides "how much have you lost?") is "Are you glad you did it?"  It's a great question.  It's a little more difficult to answer.  95% of the time, I'm glad I did it.  The other 5%?  Well, that's the hard part.  The other 5% is when I'm dehydrated, frustrated, nauseous, questioning myself, battling with myself each and every day.  Some days, I don't think about it and just go with the flow.  But other days, it's a constant mental battle.  Each day I am faced with choices and I can choose to be happy and healthy or I can choose to be miserable.  I know there are certain things that I used to enjoy eating that I still enjoy eating, but I certainly don't enjoy the way it makes me feel after.  Before surgery, there were no immediate consequences.  Now, there are. 

I have been eating more "normal" foods now.  I start out with protein most days and then eat fruits and veggies if I'm still not full.  Some days are better than others and I don't get as many fruits/veggies as I should.  Portion sizes are tiny compared to what they used to be. 

I have been exercising more.  I started a training group called "Fit-tastic" back in March.  I went every Monday and Wednesday and did run/walk training with a group of folks to train for a 5k.  And then... work happened.

We are in the process of upgrading our Business Online Banking system at work and I have been working until 6 or 7 every night.  I then come home and work more from home.  It has been sucking up all of my personal time.  Don't misunderstand, I still do things with friends and still exercise, just not as often as I did.  Now I come home from work, walk/run Paris and try to figure out what's for dinner and whether I feel like eating anything.

I have developed a very strange aversion to certain foods.  If I cook it, I can't eat it... especially proteins.  More specifically, chicken.  Chicken is not my friend these days.  I get nauseous when I smell it cooking, I get nauseous when I have to eat it and I get nauseous when it's reheated.  Sometimes I can cook it and eat it a day later, but not always.  I feel the same way about hamburger sometimes too... I have to cook spaghetti or chili one day and eat it the next.

I'm good as long as I don't have to prepare it... if I eat out or eat at the cafeteria at work, it doesn't bother me.

I recently went for my 3 month follow up with my surgeon's office (the PA) and talked to her about nausea.  I mentioned that I was nauseous more than 4 times a week and she was concerned.  She had the nurse perform a swallow test on me to determine if I had any leaks or anything going on with my pouch.  They said it appeared I have what's called "out-patching" where part of the pouch extends beyond the normal shape.  It's also called the "candy cane effect".  They wanted me to have an endoscopy done and then I would likely have surgery again.

Let me just tell you.... when I heard those words, I was full of all sorts of emotions.  I was angry, frustrated, sad, annoyed, and most of all, confused.  She said it was common, but I just didn't want to believe that.  So I got a second opinion.  I went to another surgeon in another bariatrics practice and told him what they found.  He was not at all concerned and said that nausea is very common post surgery for 6-9 months and sometimes up to a year.  He also said that several of his patients are nauseous with every meal and have feeding tubes to help them get the nutrients they are missing out on.

I sat back, relieved and thankful... I can't imagine going through everything I went through and having to have a feeding tube.  No thank you.  I shall not complain about nausea.  It is fine.

Other than that, I have had a lot of problems with my sciatic nerve and my back.  Some days are worse than others.  I have to sit on the heating pad a lot to get any relief.  I hope it's just my body adjusting to the redistribution of weight... but I will probably have to get that checked out soon.  I can't sleep, can't sit, can't stand... it hurts most days and makes exercising more difficult.

So recently, someone posted some OLD pictures of me on Facebook (you know who you are... :)).  These pictures were quite the eye-opener for me.  I thought that I knew my highest weight (I thought it was from this past October) but I believe I am mistaken.  There was a period of time six or seven years ago when I was in complete denial over my weight and I'm pretty sure I was in the 350 lb. range.  Shocking, I know.  When I look at these pictures and compare them to the pictures I have from last fall, they are just disturbing.  So knowing that and knowing where I am today... I am quite pleased with what has transpired.

I know you're all dying to know the numbers, so here they are.
Since October, 2012, I have lost 72 lbs.  I have gone from a size 26 to 18/20 (some pants are 20/22).  My shoe size has gone down a whole size.  My face is much smaller.  My rings, watches and bracelets fall off now.  My coats/jackets don't fit anymore.  I have noticed little things, like how pronounced my collarbone is now and my knees are much more defined.  My arms need some work - there's some excess fat/skin I need to tighten up and tone.

I recently went to a Canes game at PNC Arena (still sounds strange calling it that) and I was so pleased with how I fit in the seats... I went to a concert there in December and had to wedge myself into the seat and wiggle myself out.  I practically stood up the entire concert because I was so uncomfortable.  I was so much more relaxed and had such a great time at the Canes game... jumping up and down from the seat without having to hoist myself up.  It was great!  I have been walking a lot and go on much longer walks now without getting winded.  I can walk 2 miles easily and keep going if I want.  I can climb the stairs at work faster and easier - there are stairs that lead to the cafeteria and I used to have to take the elevator in order to breathe properly once I got to the top.  Now, I get to the top and I don't even notice a difference in my breathing.  I can talk and carry on a conversation the whole way up.

I find myself going out more and enjoying the spring weather these days.  I used to take Paris out and let her do her business and come back inside.  Now, we take longer walks and play quite a bit when we get home.  She needs that exercise and so do I!

I am excited about what the future holds and excited to see how this new body is going to work for me. I am planning to travel more and enjoy my friends and this fabulous city more.  I will be getting a bike soon and hope to start riding some trails and greenways around the area.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement.  The compliments are always welcome!  It's fuel for the tank and motivates me to keep going!