Last week was crazy busy and this weekend I had all intentions of going to the gym for some swim time and yoga and then relaxing for the weekend. Haha. I should know by now to not make plans to relax...it never works out as I intended. I came home Friday night after stopping by Trader Joes on the way home. I got some yummies there and came home with plans to cook. My body had other intentions. I sat in the chair to relax a bit and woke up 2 1/2 hours later, not quite sure what day it was. It really annoys me when this happens because I feel so unproductive. I got a bite to eat and then went to bed. So much for Friday night.
Saturday, I woke up around 7. I got up and went downstairs to have breakfast and relax on the couch. There was a swim class at 9:30 and a yoga class at 11. I guess I relaxed so much I woke up at 10 on the couch. Then my sister called and said they were coming to Raleigh for the day. By the time they got here, my stomach was screaming at me for something I had eaten. Jamie wanted to return some stuff to Old Navy. Lily was with us and we decided to stop at Panera for lunch. I had soup and Jamie had soup/salad. Lily had what looked like an amazing pb&j because she wore it all over her face!!
We eventually ended up at Old Navy. I had ordered some workout clothes and needed to return some (too big!!), so I started looking around. I honestly didn't think I would find anything that fit. we walked around for a while and Lily and I picked out some clothes for her to try on with us. We got matching Wonder Woman T-shirts. I felt a little old when she said "who is that???", but after I told her I used to watch the cartoon, she really liked it. She also liked the Smurfs and Batgirl T-shirts. She's a funny kid...favorite shows are The Brady Bunch and Full House... Noah's favorites are Bonanza and Daniel Boone. Love those kids!
Anyway, we all three hauled into the dressing room at the same time. Lily modeled while Jamie and I flew through clothes. I ended up with more than them.... Because I can actually wear the clothes in Old Navy now!! It's been at least 10 years since I've shopped in there. It's exciting!! I would have paid twice the amount I paid at Lane Bryant or somewhere that sold plus sizes. It's nice to be able to fit into things that don't cost extra for being a fluffy chick.
I slept most of Sunday away with a migraine, but I did get a wifi DVD player at an auction in RMT. This then led to a Netflix membership renewal and which then led to a marathon of the first season of Downton Abbey. Can't wait until season 2 is available! Have also been catching up on movies. I worked from home today and planning to head to the gym tomorrow morning to try out the pool for the first time. We'll see how that goes! It's a new week!!
Kell
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Crawl, Walk, Run
Howdy, folks! I have been really busy over the past week. I am now a card-carrying member of the YMCA in N. Raleigh! Woot!!
I know I say this every week, but I have been slammed at work. I literally get out of bed at 5am, go to the gym (ok, so today was the first day, but if I tell myself I've been doing it, then I'll keep doing it), come back home, shower, walk Paris, fix lunchbag, drive to work, don't leave parking lot until 6pm or so (tonight, I forgot where I parked... walked from one end of the parking lot to the other... hey, it's exercise!), come home, walk Paris, cook dinner, and.... CRASH. Lather, rinse & repeat. I should be in bed now. But I have a feeling most of my friends are quietly mumbling things about me not keeping my blog up to date...
So, this week has been interesting. Not only did I join the gym, but I did a bad, bad thing. After I went to the gym Tuesday night, I was starving. I decided to go through Chick-Fil-A drive through. That was tough. I ordered a Grilled Chicken Sandwich, no bun, with a side of fruit. Ha. You thought this was where I did the bad thing, didn't you? Nope. I was strong. I was good. I drove home... or towards home. On the way home, there is a Bojangle's. I had a migraine. When I have a migraine, for some strange reason (in my screwed up head), Bojangle's fries make my head feel better. Could be the carbs or the grease... dunno. Or at least, that was the case, pre-op. Now, I have paid dearly for the Bojangle's fries. I probably only ate 5 or 6. I scarfed them down. I gave Paris some. I was all about some Bojangle's fries. (The Chick-fil-A sandwich is in the fridge, if you're wondering.)
This is normally where I tell you I was as sick as a dog, all night long. Nope... Paris was, but not me. I didn't get sick. But I noticed when I got in the bed I had this strange sharp pain in this tiny little area below my stomach (pouch). I ignored it and fell asleep. Yesterday, it was worse. It was constant. And then it moved. It moved it's way through my bowels. It was a rough day.
Did I learn my lesson? Absolutely. Will I do it again? I will never say never. But, I will always remember how it made me feel. Yuck. Disgusting. (Paris is fine, just had a nice intestinal blowout... aka diarrhea)
So I got up at 5:00 am feeling better. I went to the gym. That place is packed even in the mornings! I got there in time so that I didn't have to wait for a machine, but there were people waiting when I got off of the treadmill. I'm moving slowly... gradually building up my distance and time. I'm not pushing or rushing.
I ran into the lady that registered me Monday night. Her name is Jenny and she is so sweet. She said she was glad to see me and had been telling folks about me and the surgery. She is really excited to see the results. I am too. :)
So after Tuesday and today, my shins are KILLING me. I have some runner friends and I took their advice and went to Capital Run Walk for a gait analysis and to be fit for proper shoes. I came home with some pretty great shoes (Brooks Adrenaline). All this time, I've been wearing the wrong size. I've been buying a size 10 or 11... mainly because of the width. I came home with a 9 1/2 and they feel great!
It was funny, when I first walked in, they asked if I was there to pick up a packet. I asked what they were referring to and there is a Krispy Kreme Dash this weekend. I had not heard of this... apparently people enter this competition to run 2 miles to a Krispy Kreme, then proceed to eat a dozen glazed donuts and run back. What the????? NO.... THANK YOU. I would DIE. (especially now)
Since I've been going to the gym, I am sleeping like a baby. It feels great. I am hoping some of the pain of my body adjusting to this new strange thing called exercise will subside soon. I just have to push through the next few weeks.
Paris is quite confused with the new schedule. She will get used to it, but I have to get it down to a routine, for her benefit and mine. I will walk her in the mornings, and then when I get home at night, I will take her on a LONG walk to burn off some energy.
Today, when I was perusing the Capital Run Walk website, I found something called Fit-tastic! Now, I love a good play on words, but this is genius (not the word, but the concept... stay with me folks).
I signed up for two different 5k's recently. One is at the end of March - it is an Off-Road Challenge for The Biggest Loser in Charlotte. The other is in April - Angels Among Us at Duke. I may not be able to do the off-road challenge (given the aforementioned clumsy awkwardness). I will decide that later on though.
But for now, I need to go to bed so that I can get up at 5am and get to the gym... in my new shoes. :)
Good night for now!
Kell
42 lbs lighter
I know I say this every week, but I have been slammed at work. I literally get out of bed at 5am, go to the gym (ok, so today was the first day, but if I tell myself I've been doing it, then I'll keep doing it), come back home, shower, walk Paris, fix lunchbag, drive to work, don't leave parking lot until 6pm or so (tonight, I forgot where I parked... walked from one end of the parking lot to the other... hey, it's exercise!), come home, walk Paris, cook dinner, and.... CRASH. Lather, rinse & repeat. I should be in bed now. But I have a feeling most of my friends are quietly mumbling things about me not keeping my blog up to date...
So, this week has been interesting. Not only did I join the gym, but I did a bad, bad thing. After I went to the gym Tuesday night, I was starving. I decided to go through Chick-Fil-A drive through. That was tough. I ordered a Grilled Chicken Sandwich, no bun, with a side of fruit. Ha. You thought this was where I did the bad thing, didn't you? Nope. I was strong. I was good. I drove home... or towards home. On the way home, there is a Bojangle's. I had a migraine. When I have a migraine, for some strange reason (in my screwed up head), Bojangle's fries make my head feel better. Could be the carbs or the grease... dunno. Or at least, that was the case, pre-op. Now, I have paid dearly for the Bojangle's fries. I probably only ate 5 or 6. I scarfed them down. I gave Paris some. I was all about some Bojangle's fries. (The Chick-fil-A sandwich is in the fridge, if you're wondering.)
This is normally where I tell you I was as sick as a dog, all night long. Nope... Paris was, but not me. I didn't get sick. But I noticed when I got in the bed I had this strange sharp pain in this tiny little area below my stomach (pouch). I ignored it and fell asleep. Yesterday, it was worse. It was constant. And then it moved. It moved it's way through my bowels. It was a rough day.
Did I learn my lesson? Absolutely. Will I do it again? I will never say never. But, I will always remember how it made me feel. Yuck. Disgusting. (Paris is fine, just had a nice intestinal blowout... aka diarrhea)
So I got up at 5:00 am feeling better. I went to the gym. That place is packed even in the mornings! I got there in time so that I didn't have to wait for a machine, but there were people waiting when I got off of the treadmill. I'm moving slowly... gradually building up my distance and time. I'm not pushing or rushing.
I ran into the lady that registered me Monday night. Her name is Jenny and she is so sweet. She said she was glad to see me and had been telling folks about me and the surgery. She is really excited to see the results. I am too. :)
So after Tuesday and today, my shins are KILLING me. I have some runner friends and I took their advice and went to Capital Run Walk for a gait analysis and to be fit for proper shoes. I came home with some pretty great shoes (Brooks Adrenaline). All this time, I've been wearing the wrong size. I've been buying a size 10 or 11... mainly because of the width. I came home with a 9 1/2 and they feel great!
It was funny, when I first walked in, they asked if I was there to pick up a packet. I asked what they were referring to and there is a Krispy Kreme Dash this weekend. I had not heard of this... apparently people enter this competition to run 2 miles to a Krispy Kreme, then proceed to eat a dozen glazed donuts and run back. What the????? NO.... THANK YOU. I would DIE. (especially now)
Since I've been going to the gym, I am sleeping like a baby. It feels great. I am hoping some of the pain of my body adjusting to this new strange thing called exercise will subside soon. I just have to push through the next few weeks.
Paris is quite confused with the new schedule. She will get used to it, but I have to get it down to a routine, for her benefit and mine. I will walk her in the mornings, and then when I get home at night, I will take her on a LONG walk to burn off some energy.
Today, when I was perusing the Capital Run Walk website, I found something called Fit-tastic! Now, I love a good play on words, but this is genius (not the word, but the concept... stay with me folks).
"Fit-tastic is a 12-week training program geared toward the beginning walker/runner who wants to develop a healthy and sustainable exercise regimen. We have experienced, certified coaches who have put together a program designed to help you achieve your goals with the support of others like yourself."Guess who signed up? This chick. Thankfully it doesn't begin until March 11, so I have a month to get out of the clumsy, awkward walking stage... yes, I'm clumsy.
I signed up for two different 5k's recently. One is at the end of March - it is an Off-Road Challenge for The Biggest Loser in Charlotte. The other is in April - Angels Among Us at Duke. I may not be able to do the off-road challenge (given the aforementioned clumsy awkwardness). I will decide that later on though.
But for now, I need to go to bed so that I can get up at 5am and get to the gym... in my new shoes. :)
Good night for now!
Kell
42 lbs lighter
Friday, February 1, 2013
Follow the Yellow Brick Road
"Just follow that one road the whole time!... I hope THEY don't get lost, I'm so bad at giving directions..." Glinda in Wicked.
Not sure why this has been on my mind so much... I think I relate this journey I am on to Dorothy's journey in the Wizard of Oz. There are twists and turns and some scary things and some things that make you smile. You meet interesting people along the way and you meet people that are mean and unsupportive. But most importantly, you follow this road to meet the goal you've set for yourself... Whether it's to find someone special, to lose half of your body weight or to find your way home is no matter. What matters most is that you follow the road...follow your heart and love yourself. "Just follow that one road the whole time!"
The past two weeks have been pretty busy. As I mentioned in my previous post, things at work have been...stressful. I literally come home and clean or cook or both and crash. My energy levels are much better than they were. I have really gotten into a groove with my eating habits. I did notice one day this week I didn't plan and had quickly grown tired of reheating leftovers, so I went to work with little snacks but nothing substantial to eat. Luckily there was soup in the cafeteria that day that I could eat. It was good and filling. But I realized that I need to have a plan each day. The biggest issue I have faced is not really wanting what I've packed in my lunch bag that day once I get to work. I know things will get better when I can have real foods because then I will be able to eat salads or grilled chicken in the cafeteria on those days I'm having the Lunchbag Blues.
I have made some pretty yummy recipes lately. My favorite was chicken & broccoli in Alfredo sauce (Bertolli's Light Alfredo sauce). Another favorite is the pizza. Mission tortilla shels come in Carb Balance. I added sundried tomato pesto as sauce, then mozzarella, Parmesan, feta, & pepperoni. Deliciousness!!!!
I went today for my B12 shot & the PA was pleased with my energy. I also had lunch at Firebirds with my team from work. I ordered wood grilled salmon with steamed veggies. It was yummy! This weekend I am spending time with my sister for her birthday. We just got back from Walmart where I got lots of fruit & stuff to make pizzas this weekend.
Unfortunately, I have been craving chocolate. We got some of the weight watchers English toffee candies. They hit the spot!
I wrote out some motivating quotes an put them on my mirror in my bathroom. If I feel rough or feel like giving up, I can quickly remind myself to keep going and try harder!!
Sorry it's been so long since I blogged. I really am trying to be better about it!!
For now... 41 lbs lighter,
Kell
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tarred.
Tarred? Yes. Tarred. Or as most spell it, tired.
My Granddaddy Wright was a Kentucky Hillbilly. He would answer the telephone "mmmmyellow". He had false teeth that he liked to keep in his pocket and fool us into reaching in for Werthers Original. He loved Hee-Haw, Snuffy Smith, NASCAR and Budweiser. He loved to sit under his carport and watch the tractors and cars drive by on what used to be a country road. He loved collards and chitlens and made the very best sausage and gravy I will ever eat in my life. And if you asked him, "how are you, Granddaddy?", his response was "Shooooweeeee, I'm tarred!!" And he would wipe his bald head dramatically with his hanky or bandana or paper towel, whatever the cloth of the day was. He was a good granddaddy. I reckon he was the funniest man I've known and I miss him a lot.
So how am I today? "Shooooweeeee, I'm tarred!!"
I got up this morning with a nagging headache. I gagged while taking my vitamins, one of which is redonkulous in size and I found out at the docs today that I should be taking 4x that amount....per day. I have to sit to dry my hair right now. Otherwise I don't have the energy to fix my lunch and walk Paris. Thankfully the 30 minute drive to work gives me the time to rejuvenate physically. Today, when I got to work, I needed a nap. I miss the days working at the RBC Plaza where we had "quiet rooms". I guess I could try to get access to the new mothers room, but there's one slight problem...I'm not a new mother. Oh well.
Speaking of the doctor, he said everything is on track. The vitamins are the new norm: B-Complex, D, Iron, Omega-3, B-12 injections, calcium, and I think that's it?? I can start gradually exercising. Oh and I've lost 33 lbs. Yay!!
Work is crazy. We have a HUGE project we are working on and it's stressing folks out. A lot of folks are leaving...some retiring, some changing jobs, others...well, I won't go there. I'm getting a complex. Two of them sit on either side of me... I try to remember my deodorant each day. Gosh, just tell me if I stink...
So by the end of the day, I was chugging along and never happier to pack up to go home.
Because, Shooooweeeee, I'm tarred!!
Kell
My Granddaddy Wright was a Kentucky Hillbilly. He would answer the telephone "mmmmyellow". He had false teeth that he liked to keep in his pocket and fool us into reaching in for Werthers Original. He loved Hee-Haw, Snuffy Smith, NASCAR and Budweiser. He loved to sit under his carport and watch the tractors and cars drive by on what used to be a country road. He loved collards and chitlens and made the very best sausage and gravy I will ever eat in my life. And if you asked him, "how are you, Granddaddy?", his response was "Shooooweeeee, I'm tarred!!" And he would wipe his bald head dramatically with his hanky or bandana or paper towel, whatever the cloth of the day was. He was a good granddaddy. I reckon he was the funniest man I've known and I miss him a lot.
So how am I today? "Shooooweeeee, I'm tarred!!"
I got up this morning with a nagging headache. I gagged while taking my vitamins, one of which is redonkulous in size and I found out at the docs today that I should be taking 4x that amount....per day. I have to sit to dry my hair right now. Otherwise I don't have the energy to fix my lunch and walk Paris. Thankfully the 30 minute drive to work gives me the time to rejuvenate physically. Today, when I got to work, I needed a nap. I miss the days working at the RBC Plaza where we had "quiet rooms". I guess I could try to get access to the new mothers room, but there's one slight problem...I'm not a new mother. Oh well.
Speaking of the doctor, he said everything is on track. The vitamins are the new norm: B-Complex, D, Iron, Omega-3, B-12 injections, calcium, and I think that's it?? I can start gradually exercising. Oh and I've lost 33 lbs. Yay!!
Work is crazy. We have a HUGE project we are working on and it's stressing folks out. A lot of folks are leaving...some retiring, some changing jobs, others...well, I won't go there. I'm getting a complex. Two of them sit on either side of me... I try to remember my deodorant each day. Gosh, just tell me if I stink...
So by the end of the day, I was chugging along and never happier to pack up to go home.
Because, Shooooweeeee, I'm tarred!!
Kell
Monday, January 21, 2013
Migraines Drool, Energy Rules
It has been an interesting week... there have been ups and downs. I have had good days and really bad days. I always keep in mind that the worst is behind me (chicken broth, protein shake nastiness, etc.). Now, I'm able to experiment with things much more. I have had enough of the egg bites I cooked last week... too much of a good thing. Bleh. I haven't even brought myself to dump them out of the container they're in... they're in the fridge of course... but it just grosses me out to even smell them right now. I've been noticing I get tired of things really quickly. Maybe because I eat it multiple times a day... maybe because I still have such a sensitive stomach. I'm not sure.
I have been working from home most of the week. Some days were better than others. Some days I slept during the day and worked at night. It really just depended on my energy level. I have found that if I take my vitamins early (when I remember to take them early), I tend to have a bit more energy during the day.
Friday, it hit me that I was returning to work Tuesday and my house was in utter chaos. I mean, there wasn't an inch of kitchen counter space that wasn't covered.... seriously. The dining room table/craft table/junk table was in rough shape since Christmas projects had been completed. The Christmas decorations were still up. Yep, you read that right. I brought the boxes in and that's as far as I got. The floors were in dire need of a conversation with the vacuum.
So, thankfully, I had some friends on standby to help and they sprung into action on Saturday. My friends Karen & Adam came over and helped. We got the Christmas decorations down (I say "we" loosely... I had to sit and rest several times), the kitchen organized, the craft table organized, the floors vacuumed and the horrid air filters changed out. It was a productive day! And I was completely exhausted!
That evening, after they had left and I was resting, I noticed Paris started twitching. She was twitching in her face and her legs... it was happening every few seconds, but not like a seizure (that was my first concern). It continued for about 15 minutes and I made her stand and walk with me, as well as sit and lay down and it happened the entire time. I started to panic and called the on-call vet. Apparently I woke him up, but I didn't really care. He asked me a series of questions and because she was walking around with me and wagging her tail, he didn't seem concerned. He thought it was probably an upset stomach (she had eaten some of my tuna earlier that night) and that the twitch was probably a pain reaction to the upset tummy. He told me to give her Pepto and just keep an eye on her.
Meanwhile, my friend Wheela called back (I had called her before the vet because she is my dog guru). She calmed me down and made me feel a lot better. While we were on the phone, Paris had stopped twitching... then it started back. I got her to come with me into the guest bathroom downstairs and shut her in. I poured the Pepto in the measuring cup... she licked it and you should have seen her face. It was like a kid tasting nasty medicine for the first time (I remember a full on fight with Lily over taking liquid medicine after she had her tonsils/adenoids removed). So I had to pin her down on the floor and hold her mouth open with one hand and pour it down her throat with the other... she stood up, looked at me like "I hate you..." and then decided to shake............. Pepto............ all over me........... all over the walls........... everywhere!!!! Once I cleaned that up, we sat down to rest again and she seemed to get better. She finally fell asleep (after waking up every time she twitched) and the twitching stopped once she was asleep. Was scary, but now I know what to look for.
Sunday, we laid around and were lazy. I woke up with a migraine and decided not to do much. It was a beautiful day and I was annoyed we weren't able to get out much, but I needed the rest.
Today I got up and showered. I relaxed a bit until my friend Jill came. We went to one store and then Harris Teeter to get some produce (Wal-Mart/Target are running slim on some of the produce these days). When we got back to the house, I was wiped out!! Jill cut up veggies for dipping and for cooking and helped me prepare several things. I have Parmesan Garlic Spaghetti Squash, Baked Zucchini Chips, and Chicken Taco Chili. It's all delicious!! :) And it will get me through the next few days of preparing my lunches for work and dinners.
Unfortunately, my migraine returned today. I think they're happening more frequently because of my blood sugar ups and downs. I'm hoping to get that under control better when I go back to work. I'm hoping that I'll be on a more strict eating schedule at work and be able to eat on schedule instead of when I'm feeling woozy and feel like I need to eat or I might pass out, like I have been doing at home.
Thanks to everyone who has helped me with stuff over the past few weeks... it means a lot. I am going upstairs to try on clothes soon because, well, I just have no clue what I'm going to wear!
So say a prayer for me tomorrow as I head back to the daily grind. It will be interesting for sure!!
Kell
I have been working from home most of the week. Some days were better than others. Some days I slept during the day and worked at night. It really just depended on my energy level. I have found that if I take my vitamins early (when I remember to take them early), I tend to have a bit more energy during the day.
Friday, it hit me that I was returning to work Tuesday and my house was in utter chaos. I mean, there wasn't an inch of kitchen counter space that wasn't covered.... seriously. The dining room table/craft table/junk table was in rough shape since Christmas projects had been completed. The Christmas decorations were still up. Yep, you read that right. I brought the boxes in and that's as far as I got. The floors were in dire need of a conversation with the vacuum.
So, thankfully, I had some friends on standby to help and they sprung into action on Saturday. My friends Karen & Adam came over and helped. We got the Christmas decorations down (I say "we" loosely... I had to sit and rest several times), the kitchen organized, the craft table organized, the floors vacuumed and the horrid air filters changed out. It was a productive day! And I was completely exhausted!
That evening, after they had left and I was resting, I noticed Paris started twitching. She was twitching in her face and her legs... it was happening every few seconds, but not like a seizure (that was my first concern). It continued for about 15 minutes and I made her stand and walk with me, as well as sit and lay down and it happened the entire time. I started to panic and called the on-call vet. Apparently I woke him up, but I didn't really care. He asked me a series of questions and because she was walking around with me and wagging her tail, he didn't seem concerned. He thought it was probably an upset stomach (she had eaten some of my tuna earlier that night) and that the twitch was probably a pain reaction to the upset tummy. He told me to give her Pepto and just keep an eye on her.
Meanwhile, my friend Wheela called back (I had called her before the vet because she is my dog guru). She calmed me down and made me feel a lot better. While we were on the phone, Paris had stopped twitching... then it started back. I got her to come with me into the guest bathroom downstairs and shut her in. I poured the Pepto in the measuring cup... she licked it and you should have seen her face. It was like a kid tasting nasty medicine for the first time (I remember a full on fight with Lily over taking liquid medicine after she had her tonsils/adenoids removed). So I had to pin her down on the floor and hold her mouth open with one hand and pour it down her throat with the other... she stood up, looked at me like "I hate you..." and then decided to shake............. Pepto............ all over me........... all over the walls........... everywhere!!!! Once I cleaned that up, we sat down to rest again and she seemed to get better. She finally fell asleep (after waking up every time she twitched) and the twitching stopped once she was asleep. Was scary, but now I know what to look for.
Sunday, we laid around and were lazy. I woke up with a migraine and decided not to do much. It was a beautiful day and I was annoyed we weren't able to get out much, but I needed the rest.
Today I got up and showered. I relaxed a bit until my friend Jill came. We went to one store and then Harris Teeter to get some produce (Wal-Mart/Target are running slim on some of the produce these days). When we got back to the house, I was wiped out!! Jill cut up veggies for dipping and for cooking and helped me prepare several things. I have Parmesan Garlic Spaghetti Squash, Baked Zucchini Chips, and Chicken Taco Chili. It's all delicious!! :) And it will get me through the next few days of preparing my lunches for work and dinners.
Unfortunately, my migraine returned today. I think they're happening more frequently because of my blood sugar ups and downs. I'm hoping to get that under control better when I go back to work. I'm hoping that I'll be on a more strict eating schedule at work and be able to eat on schedule instead of when I'm feeling woozy and feel like I need to eat or I might pass out, like I have been doing at home.
Thanks to everyone who has helped me with stuff over the past few weeks... it means a lot. I am going upstairs to try on clothes soon because, well, I just have no clue what I'm going to wear!
So say a prayer for me tomorrow as I head back to the daily grind. It will be interesting for sure!!
Kell
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Black Hole
I have not posted in almost a week... it has been a really rough week. As you can probably guess from the title of this post, I have been in a black hole of sorts. I did too much, too fast... again.
This process is not easy. There are constant decisions and constant choices to be made. It's not all roses and confetti. And it's hard to be happy and positive and energetic all the time. Especially when you are malnourished.
I was bored this weekend and decided to go to my sister's house. I spent Saturday night there and I was just not prepared for the exhaustion that was going to take over my every molecule. Literally.
I had an OK day Saturday... I got some Wendy's chili (I am officially sick of it) on the way to Jamie's. I ate that most of the day. We decided to run out to Hobby Lobby for some additional craft stuff for a project that we took on that, of course, turned out to be a lot more difficult than it seemed (thank you, Pinterest). By the time we made it to Walmart for ingredients for the dinner we had planned, I was at the point of no return. I was dizzy, nauseous, sweaty, faint, dizzy, nauseous, shaky, dizzy, and did I mention nauseous?
We made it home and I chowed down on 1/2 a banana. Jamie commenced to cooking my dad's recipe of Chicken Casserole (this stuff is amazingly good). I had previously had all the ingredients, sans one... sour cream. We got the light version of sour cream. One of two things happened... I either ate too much too fast (I was feeling starved)... or I cannot tolerate sour cream. Because the dumping syndrome ensued. It came on with a vengeance. I never had the diarrhea, but I had the vomiting, the dry heaving, the horrible cramping, cold sweats, etc. It was not pretty. This was the first official time I've had this... and I can tell you I don't want to have it again. Ever. Sour cream is something that most WLS folks can handle, so I'm not sure what the outcome of that will be.
That night, I didn't sleep well... I ended up sleeping in the recliner because I just could not get comfortable otherwise. I used the heating pad on my stomach and finally around 6 AM went to the bedroom and crawled into bed. I slept like a log until after 10. I didn't eat much that morning... just couldn't seem to stomach anything and was a little gun-shy from the night before.
We decided to go to the Train Station to take pictures of the kids. We picked out outfits and got them ready. We stopped on the way to get something to eat. The kids got McD's and Jamie and I got El Tapatio. I can have refried beans and chicken, so I got my usual quesadilla with a side of beans. It was so good. I ended up eating 3 servings of it (my size servings). We got some great shots at the Train Station and headed back to Jamie's. I was wiped out. I just didn't even want to drive home. I knew I needed to get myself together and get home so I could rest in my own environment.
Monday was worse. I woke up with a migraine, weak, dizzy, needing nutrition. I just couldn't seem to get things under control. I still can't drink protein shakes and I knew I wasn't getting enough protein. I needed to go to the grocery store, but I did not have the energy or the motivation. I knew I could get there and probably could get out of the store, but unloading the car was out of the question, much less putting things away. So I didn't get much down on Monday. I tried, but it just didn't work for me.
Tuesday, a friend came from RMT to help me. She drove me to my doc's office in Cary to pick up my doctor's note for jury duty. Then we got some Mexican, because I know I can eat it. I sat there and stared down the tortilla chips. I never ate one. We just had a staring contest... I won :). Then she took me to Walmart. I had a list... it seemed to grow. I drove the scooter (yep, I did... I ain't too proud) and she followed me around with a cart. It was insane. I bought tuna, beans, eggs, eggs, cheese, lots and lots of cheese, chicken, fish... if it had protein it went in my cart. It got to the point where I was getting dizzy on the scooter.
We got back to my house and filled up all counter space with bags and bags of groceries. We ran out of counter space. Which means I have no where to put a lot of this stuff! I got all of the perishables put away and then I had to take a nap. It was draining.
I got up that evening and had some tuna. The pre-mixed lemon pepper is delish... and I can eat the whole pouch and get 18g of protein. It was just what I needed. I immediately started feeling better. Funny how that works, huh? Reminded me of the day in NYC when I was protein deprived and stopped at Trump Tower for a chicken breast. It was the best chicken breast I've ever eaten... even if it cost me $12. :)
Today, I got up and had some cereal. We can have cereal that gets mushy quickly. Rice Krispies are my choice right now. They have a tiny bit of protein in them, but the milk packs about 8g of protein. I love cereal. I really love Honey Nut Cheerios, but they have too much sugar. I could have regular Cheerios, but the Rice Krispies will last me a while. Then I had tuna for a mid-morning snack. It did me a world of good. I had a banana later this afternoon and a piece of cheese. And this afternoon, I made these mini quiche bites that I have been drooling over on this blog. They are pretty amazing. I did get a bit of indigestion from the egg (like I did with the scrambled eggs), but they were good. And filling. I had 3 and then an hour later had 3 more. They are very good. I made 2 batches (the others were pizza bites). I like them both equally. They probably could have used more seasoning. I went a little light on some of it because it seemed like an awful lot in both recipes, but it seems the egg soaks it up.
The depression over the past few days was rough. I've finally climbed out of that black hole... it was dark down there. I went through all sorts of things... feelings of failure, feelings of regret, feelings of just plain desperation... I cried and cried and cried. Today has been much better.
I thought I would say "I'm turning the corner", but it occurs to me I've said that before. I think the worst is definitely behind me... but I think I've got a lot of obstacles ahead. It is going to be a daily battle to keep the protein levels up and the feelings of failure at bay. I will keep on keepin' on. I will do what it takes to make this work. I have to. I don't have a choice.
Sorry this is such a long post... and not quite as light-hearted as usual.
For now,
Kell
This process is not easy. There are constant decisions and constant choices to be made. It's not all roses and confetti. And it's hard to be happy and positive and energetic all the time. Especially when you are malnourished.
I was bored this weekend and decided to go to my sister's house. I spent Saturday night there and I was just not prepared for the exhaustion that was going to take over my every molecule. Literally.
I had an OK day Saturday... I got some Wendy's chili (I am officially sick of it) on the way to Jamie's. I ate that most of the day. We decided to run out to Hobby Lobby for some additional craft stuff for a project that we took on that, of course, turned out to be a lot more difficult than it seemed (thank you, Pinterest). By the time we made it to Walmart for ingredients for the dinner we had planned, I was at the point of no return. I was dizzy, nauseous, sweaty, faint, dizzy, nauseous, shaky, dizzy, and did I mention nauseous?
We made it home and I chowed down on 1/2 a banana. Jamie commenced to cooking my dad's recipe of Chicken Casserole (this stuff is amazingly good). I had previously had all the ingredients, sans one... sour cream. We got the light version of sour cream. One of two things happened... I either ate too much too fast (I was feeling starved)... or I cannot tolerate sour cream. Because the dumping syndrome ensued. It came on with a vengeance. I never had the diarrhea, but I had the vomiting, the dry heaving, the horrible cramping, cold sweats, etc. It was not pretty. This was the first official time I've had this... and I can tell you I don't want to have it again. Ever. Sour cream is something that most WLS folks can handle, so I'm not sure what the outcome of that will be.
That night, I didn't sleep well... I ended up sleeping in the recliner because I just could not get comfortable otherwise. I used the heating pad on my stomach and finally around 6 AM went to the bedroom and crawled into bed. I slept like a log until after 10. I didn't eat much that morning... just couldn't seem to stomach anything and was a little gun-shy from the night before.
We decided to go to the Train Station to take pictures of the kids. We picked out outfits and got them ready. We stopped on the way to get something to eat. The kids got McD's and Jamie and I got El Tapatio. I can have refried beans and chicken, so I got my usual quesadilla with a side of beans. It was so good. I ended up eating 3 servings of it (my size servings). We got some great shots at the Train Station and headed back to Jamie's. I was wiped out. I just didn't even want to drive home. I knew I needed to get myself together and get home so I could rest in my own environment.
Monday was worse. I woke up with a migraine, weak, dizzy, needing nutrition. I just couldn't seem to get things under control. I still can't drink protein shakes and I knew I wasn't getting enough protein. I needed to go to the grocery store, but I did not have the energy or the motivation. I knew I could get there and probably could get out of the store, but unloading the car was out of the question, much less putting things away. So I didn't get much down on Monday. I tried, but it just didn't work for me.
Tuesday, a friend came from RMT to help me. She drove me to my doc's office in Cary to pick up my doctor's note for jury duty. Then we got some Mexican, because I know I can eat it. I sat there and stared down the tortilla chips. I never ate one. We just had a staring contest... I won :). Then she took me to Walmart. I had a list... it seemed to grow. I drove the scooter (yep, I did... I ain't too proud) and she followed me around with a cart. It was insane. I bought tuna, beans, eggs, eggs, cheese, lots and lots of cheese, chicken, fish... if it had protein it went in my cart. It got to the point where I was getting dizzy on the scooter.
We got back to my house and filled up all counter space with bags and bags of groceries. We ran out of counter space. Which means I have no where to put a lot of this stuff! I got all of the perishables put away and then I had to take a nap. It was draining.
I got up that evening and had some tuna. The pre-mixed lemon pepper is delish... and I can eat the whole pouch and get 18g of protein. It was just what I needed. I immediately started feeling better. Funny how that works, huh? Reminded me of the day in NYC when I was protein deprived and stopped at Trump Tower for a chicken breast. It was the best chicken breast I've ever eaten... even if it cost me $12. :)
Today, I got up and had some cereal. We can have cereal that gets mushy quickly. Rice Krispies are my choice right now. They have a tiny bit of protein in them, but the milk packs about 8g of protein. I love cereal. I really love Honey Nut Cheerios, but they have too much sugar. I could have regular Cheerios, but the Rice Krispies will last me a while. Then I had tuna for a mid-morning snack. It did me a world of good. I had a banana later this afternoon and a piece of cheese. And this afternoon, I made these mini quiche bites that I have been drooling over on this blog. They are pretty amazing. I did get a bit of indigestion from the egg (like I did with the scrambled eggs), but they were good. And filling. I had 3 and then an hour later had 3 more. They are very good. I made 2 batches (the others were pizza bites). I like them both equally. They probably could have used more seasoning. I went a little light on some of it because it seemed like an awful lot in both recipes, but it seems the egg soaks it up.
The depression over the past few days was rough. I've finally climbed out of that black hole... it was dark down there. I went through all sorts of things... feelings of failure, feelings of regret, feelings of just plain desperation... I cried and cried and cried. Today has been much better.
I thought I would say "I'm turning the corner", but it occurs to me I've said that before. I think the worst is definitely behind me... but I think I've got a lot of obstacles ahead. It is going to be a daily battle to keep the protein levels up and the feelings of failure at bay. I will keep on keepin' on. I will do what it takes to make this work. I have to. I don't have a choice.
Sorry this is such a long post... and not quite as light-hearted as usual.
For now,
Kell
 |
| Pizza Bites on the left, Bacon & Swiss on the wright |
Friday, January 11, 2013
Bad Day/Good Day
Yesterday... Bad Day...
Being excited about "the mushies", I decided to scramble some eggs yesterday morning. Bad... bad idea. I took 4 bites, chewed very well, did not eat very fast at all... and they stuck. They stuck in one spot. And it hurt. Badly. So for the next 4 hours, I was hurting. I couldn't eat anything for a while, so I just relaxed. I went to my eye doctor... got the normal lecture about wearing my contacts too long. I was hoping to get out of there cheap... ha! Not gonna happen. Although, I did find some AMAZING glasses. I can't wait to get them! They're so cool!
Although I found beautiful glasses and got my eyes checked (which the prescription hasn't changed, thank goodness), I had a nice little migraine from the dilation.
I decided yesterday afternoon that it was time to try a recipe from a book I have been reading. Before & After – Living & Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery (HarperCollins Publishers 2007,2012) by Susan Maria Leach is both a memoir and a cookbook. I found several recipes for this phase of pureed eating that I am excited about. So I attempted a Pizza Bake, an alternative for pizza cravings. It was fabulous!! It consisted of marinara sauce, ricotta cheese, very finely diced turkey pepperoni, mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses and Italian spices. It was SO yummy. It helped make a bad day better. :)
Today was a Good Day!
I did work for a little while yesterday. I logged in and checked email... then I called in for our team meeting late yesterday afternoon. This morning, I woke up later than I expected. I haven't set an alarm in a few weeks, so I just didn't think about it last night. I got up around 9 (that felt great!) and decided at the last minute to head into the office. I wanted to go in and have lunch with some folks and take down my Christmas decorations at my desk. I also just wanted to get out of the house!! And I wanted to see how I would do with packing up things to take to eat, etc. I was dressed, packed up, dog walked and out the door in an hour and eleven minutes!! I surprised myself!
Once I got to the office, I realized I should've probably taken it a little slower. I was shaky and weak... but I hung in there until about 3:00 this afternoon. After discussing my leave of absence with my manager and realizing that I either had to come back to the office full time next week or stay home and work next week, I have decided I will stay home and work from home next week. That way I can make sure I'm not overdoing it and strong enough to go back full time the week I had intended to. The doctor has officially released me, but I'm just not there yet. I'm glad that I'm in tune enough with my body to know when enough is enough. I came home this afternoon (after stopping for Wendy's Chili for a change in food for the night) and have been relaxing and resting since.
Work was great - everyone was happy to see me and seemed to think I looked brighter and perkier than usual. I have this smile that I can't seem to hide. I guess that's what happens when you're 28 lbs lighter and 1 1/2 sizes down... speaking of, I need to reorganize my closet this weekend... I hope I can find clothes that at least stay on long enough to make it through a work day! Don't want to risk losing my pants while walking down the hall... I think that would be worse than a sharting event!!
I have a before/after picture. The before picture is really bad...grainy and much like a mug shot... but it's the best I have for the side by side. It was taken on Christmas Eve, two days before surgery. The other was taken yesterday - the hair is different. I don't really see the difference... but everyone else does. I have a sweet friend that once told me that she can always tell I'm losing weight when my chin starts to become more pronounced. Well, there it is... in all its glory. :)
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Being excited about "the mushies", I decided to scramble some eggs yesterday morning. Bad... bad idea. I took 4 bites, chewed very well, did not eat very fast at all... and they stuck. They stuck in one spot. And it hurt. Badly. So for the next 4 hours, I was hurting. I couldn't eat anything for a while, so I just relaxed. I went to my eye doctor... got the normal lecture about wearing my contacts too long. I was hoping to get out of there cheap... ha! Not gonna happen. Although, I did find some AMAZING glasses. I can't wait to get them! They're so cool!
Although I found beautiful glasses and got my eyes checked (which the prescription hasn't changed, thank goodness), I had a nice little migraine from the dilation.
I decided yesterday afternoon that it was time to try a recipe from a book I have been reading. Before & After – Living & Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery (HarperCollins Publishers 2007,2012) by Susan Maria Leach is both a memoir and a cookbook. I found several recipes for this phase of pureed eating that I am excited about. So I attempted a Pizza Bake, an alternative for pizza cravings. It was fabulous!! It consisted of marinara sauce, ricotta cheese, very finely diced turkey pepperoni, mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses and Italian spices. It was SO yummy. It helped make a bad day better. :)
Today was a Good Day!
I did work for a little while yesterday. I logged in and checked email... then I called in for our team meeting late yesterday afternoon. This morning, I woke up later than I expected. I haven't set an alarm in a few weeks, so I just didn't think about it last night. I got up around 9 (that felt great!) and decided at the last minute to head into the office. I wanted to go in and have lunch with some folks and take down my Christmas decorations at my desk. I also just wanted to get out of the house!! And I wanted to see how I would do with packing up things to take to eat, etc. I was dressed, packed up, dog walked and out the door in an hour and eleven minutes!! I surprised myself!
Once I got to the office, I realized I should've probably taken it a little slower. I was shaky and weak... but I hung in there until about 3:00 this afternoon. After discussing my leave of absence with my manager and realizing that I either had to come back to the office full time next week or stay home and work next week, I have decided I will stay home and work from home next week. That way I can make sure I'm not overdoing it and strong enough to go back full time the week I had intended to. The doctor has officially released me, but I'm just not there yet. I'm glad that I'm in tune enough with my body to know when enough is enough. I came home this afternoon (after stopping for Wendy's Chili for a change in food for the night) and have been relaxing and resting since.
Work was great - everyone was happy to see me and seemed to think I looked brighter and perkier than usual. I have this smile that I can't seem to hide. I guess that's what happens when you're 28 lbs lighter and 1 1/2 sizes down... speaking of, I need to reorganize my closet this weekend... I hope I can find clothes that at least stay on long enough to make it through a work day! Don't want to risk losing my pants while walking down the hall... I think that would be worse than a sharting event!!
I have a before/after picture. The before picture is really bad...grainy and much like a mug shot... but it's the best I have for the side by side. It was taken on Christmas Eve, two days before surgery. The other was taken yesterday - the hair is different. I don't really see the difference... but everyone else does. I have a sweet friend that once told me that she can always tell I'm losing weight when my chin starts to become more pronounced. Well, there it is... in all its glory. :)
.JPG)
Well, speaking of resting, I am heading to bed.
Thankful for so much today! Managers and team members that are flexible with my need to heal, so many great friends that are so encouraging and of course my amazing family that has stood behind me this entire time.
Good night, all!
Kell
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